Husky Vista goes on Sale
Malamute, 1 February 2007

The key for the 2007 Husky offense is to score more points than it was able to do in each of the last two seasons under the old XP (extra point) model. Fans have waited five years for this revolution in design and are looking forward to this new window of opportunity, called Husky Vista.

“Now we have an offense primed for putting a gaggle of points on the board, which should mean more revenues for the franchise,” AD Todd Gates says.

Towards this goal, Coach Tyrone Ballmer has developed an offensive line that has a great deal of depth and overall experience, complimented by a stable of swift, powerful duo-core running backs, who can be shuttled in and out of the game with hyper-threading substitution.

“In effect, we will have four running backs executing simultaneously,” Coach Ballmer says.

The Vista quarterback situation is solid, with a corps of experienced airmen (call them Aero) ready to lead an offensive charge – surprising even the most pessimistic of fans -- into the conference battles. The charges under center are tall and unassailable, all having the ruggedness needed for leading the multi-dimensional Vista offense.

The three-dimensional Aero-look-and-feel is built into the premium version of the offense, but not in the basic version, which is only two dimensional.

It’s up to each fan to buy into which offense he or she prefers, thus sharing duties with Husky Vista’s offensive coordinator.                    

Last season, Washington XP led 45 other Division IA schools in total offense, and 43 others in scoring offense. (*)

Built on this solid XP platform, the Huskies’ offensive juggernaut should light up the scoreboard in 2007.

The defense has been hardened in Husky Vista against a range of varied attacks, using the defensive concept of least privilege, i.e., you can’t do more than defensive coordinator Kernel Kent allows. “Hackers can’t seduce your Explorer into corrupting your real REGGIEstry,” he says, remembering the sports agencies and Reggie Bush.

It’s up to each fan to buy into whatever defense he or she prefers, sharing the defensive duties with Kernel Kent. “The more privilege you want, the greater the chance there is for a defensive breakdown,” the Kernel warns.

“If your team or platform runs with administrator privileges, expect some security problems, even some losses” the Kernel adds.

By fiat, for the PTB, every defensive issue and attendant loss disappears in this new Husky Vista or paradigm (such as in “do you have a pair-of-dime (paradigm) for a cup of coffee?” as they said in the Great Depression).

“Blame the losses and defensive issues on the greedy fans that have abused their privilege,” Kernel Kent says, deflecting the responsibility away from Husky Vista. “By definition, Vista’s defensive model is secure.”

Foes running in user state will need to gain administrative privileges to demonstrate a defensive breakdown when hacking away at the Vista defense, ironically, in effect, sharing that responsibility with the Husky coaches.

“Be sure and upgrade your tickets, using the Gigabyte Plan,” AD Gates says. “As Elvis once said, ‘you can’t have enough gigs.’”

As coach Ballmer says, “You can’t have enough Gates, as in the BILL-ions and/or Booleans.”

As Kernel Kent says, “Although the concept of an LP defense has been around since 1974, we have been quick to adopt it with this new Husky Vista.”

Running Husky Vista with duo-core running backs means a more powerful, speedy offense. Running Husky Vista with Aero means a more entertaining game-day experience. Running Husky Vista with least-privilege means a stronger defense. It’s up to the fans to buy into the winning season they prefer.

Husky Vista models range from 9 to 13 wins for 2007. For example, Husky fan Kim Grinolds of dawgman.com has bought the 9-win model.

In a Word, with the new 2007 Outlook and Access for fans, the Huskies should Excel, a POWER-full POINT, indeed, when compared to Husky XP.

Warranties on all models expire at midnight, August 31, 2007, when the virtual environment is set to real and the coaches and AD morph back into themselves: Tyrone Willingham, Kent Baer, and Todd Turner.

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Author's note:

The Huskies don't need a Vista model to win. The old-fashioned model worked just as well. Call that smash-mouth Husky football.

Caveat:

Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to real computer platforms, living or dying, is virtually coincidental.

(*) Out of 119 Division IA teams