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On Jim Moore's satire of Gilby By: Richard Linde, 15 March 2004
How about Jim Moore’s office-pool satire appearing in the Seattle-Post Intelligencer? I thought it was funny, considering all the nonsensical hoopla made about the issue. Both the Pac-10 and the Udub say that the testimony of former assistant graduate coach Ikaika Malloe is unreliable. According to the media, Malloe ran the UW office pool in 1999 and now, after changing his original story, allegedly says he ran the pools in 2001 and 2002. He says that former and current UW coaches, including Keith Gilbertson, participated in the low-stakes pools. The coaches can't remember doing so. However, unreliability didn’t stop the Los Angeles Times from interviewing two questionable witnesses—the one’s involved in an incident that took place at the Red Onion restaurant in Orange Country—during the Fruit Basket scandal in 1992. In part, along with three other questionable witnesses, they were sources for a spate of stories pillorying Don James that first appeared in the Times on December 9, 1992. In his last two columns printed in the Post-Intelligencer, Jim Moore questions the veracity of coach Keith Gilbertson, who claims that he only remembers participating in the 1999 pool, which, according to Moore is conveniently outside the NCAA’s statute of limitations. Reportedly, Gilby told Malloe, “I’m gonna tell [the NCAA] that I participated in the pool in 1999 and I’m gonna leave it at that." In today’s story, Moore spoofs the office pools formerly run by Malloe at the UW, with Gilby now running them and assistant coaches participating. Moore believes that “all of this gambling stuff -- whether it's a full-blown Calcutta that Neuheisel was in or a $5 March Madness pool that others were in -- should have resulted in minor reprimands for everyone.” I couldn’t agree with Jim, Moore (why do I do that?). A worst-case scenario: Now that the “jocular” Moore has had his fun ribbing Gilby, look for more serious reporters, along with NCAA investigators, to dig deeper into the 2001/02 pools allegedly run by Malloe, their quest championed by the media’s chant: an “orchestrated cover up.” The likeable Moore, cast in the role of Shakespeare's Puck, a master of harmless rustic mischief, almost benevolent in his pursuit of physical fun, will wallow in more stories lampooning the investigation. Along the way, they should visit the athletic departments of the other 116 Division I-A schools, half of which in the past, most likely, have had organized sports pools run on the QT. "Hey, coach, want to place a $5 bet in the pool?" "Not this year, lest I Neu it." To parody Moore’s satire, an unreliable fly on the wall told me that they run small-stakes pools at the P-I. A cover-up of these shenanigans, however, is a different matter and needs redress, even at the Post-Intelligencer. In my view, covering up a two-bit sports-pool activity is arguably more serious than “lying” about a job interview with another sports team, which is commonly done to protect the reputation of the coach eventually hired and the one being interviewed. No one wants to be labeled as an nth choice or, worse yet, a reject. A best-case scenario: Proving that a cover-up existed will be a gargantuan task, as long as everybody allegedly involved sticks to his/her story. Where have I heard that before? In the past, a simple “I don’t remember” has worked wonders for a number of national figures under investigation. If no cover-up actually existed, this allegation vanishes inside the black hole of light-hearted journalism, never to see the light of day. The best-case scenario is the more likely, a cover-up notwithstanding. I think that’s where Moore was heading in today's satire. Richard Linde (a.k.a., Malamute) can be reached at malamute@4malamute.com |
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Who is lying? Who really
doesn’t remember? What about the small-stakes gambling pools allegedly run at
the UW in 2001 and 2002? Did head
coach Keith Gilbertson participate in them? If the press reports are correct, whom
do you believe, Ikaika Malloe or Gilbertson and the other coaches allegedly
involved?