Runnin' with the Pac
Do Ducks molt into boo birds?
By: Lotti Bull, 10 September 2001

In her column of 1’s and pearls of wisdom, Lotti answers some questions. Why do the Huskies love the number, 111? What’s wrong with Seattle Times columnist Ron Judd? Judd says Neu can’t count to 11; Lotti says Neu’s not alone. Why did Oregon malinger for three quarters against FSU? Last but not least, Lotti wonders whether “Ducks molt into boo birds, leaving a trail of feathers haphazardly strewn, like graffiti splattered on an innocent wall?”

Dear Mal,

It’s been a wild week in the Pac-10 this week. There are a number of nifty quarterbacks and receivers in our league, but I still say the team that runs the ball the best will win the Pac-10 title. Let’s take a trip around the league.

• Ted Miller of the Seattle P-I, in explaining Wyoming quarterback Casey Bramlet’s interception/touchdown ratio (20:9) last season, writes: “That can happen when you throw every play. Unlike (Jason) Fife and, to a lesser extent, (Derek) Anderson, (Cody) Pickett and (Jason) Gesser don't yet have a consistent rushing attack to keep defenses honest. Both teams made progress on Saturday running the ball, but only against porous, physically outmanned defenses.”
  
  "We need some balance with the running game, although there is that temptation to pitch it around the yard," Washington’s offensive coordinator Keith Gilbertson said.
  
  Comment: Maybe Gilbie love the number, 111, Mal. Washington rushed for 137 yards against San Jose State, Rich Alexis rushing for 125 yards on 25 carries. The Huskies rushed for 85 yards against Michigan, with Alexis rushing for 97 yards on 29 carries. The Huskies averaged 111.7 yards on the ground last season; likewise this season they are averaging 111 yards per game on the ground, while Alexis is averaging 111 running yards per game.



• The UCLA Bruins rushed for 215 yards against twentieth-ranked Colorado State in their 30-19 win.
  
  Comment: Remember, Mal, UCLA was among my top-three teams to win the Pac-10 title. The uncertainty of Cory Paus’ health for the season was my major concern. And I guess it’s Bob Toledo’s qualm as well. He inserted freshman sensation Drew Olson into the game in the fourth quarter with the Bruins trailing 13-7. He completed 2 out of 3 passes for 24 yards. The Bruins get USC and WSU at home.



• The Bruins’ off-field problems, which apparently continue unabated, make me wonder whether Bob Toledo has lost control of his players once again. Shane Lehmann was suspended this week after pleading no contest to a misdemeanor battery charge. He follows Ricky Manning, Jr. who learned last week that a felony warrant was issued for his arrest, stemming from a bar fight in April. DE Asi Faoa has been convicted of misdemeanor assault, DE C.J. Nusulu faces felony battery charges and Audie Attar has been dismissed from the team for punching the younger brother of a teammate in a bar.
  
  Comment: Remember when they used to call them the gutty, little Bruins.



• Apparently incensed by Rick Neuheisel’s new contract and by his own paltry pittance, Seattle Times columnist Ron C. Judd writes: “Hundreds of underpaid public math teachers were in the street with picket signs scraping for cost-of-living increases this week while another valued state employee, noted mathematic genius Rick Neuheisel, got a six-year contract extension worth more than $11 million…UW AD Barbara Hedges defended Skippy's obscene salary, claiming the only way to keep Neuheisel from nibbling in greener pastures is to increase his local grain allotment to the point of bloating.”
  
  Comment: Dear Mr. Judd, if you promise to help fill Husky stadium with fans during the football season, week in and week out, I’m sure Ms. Hedges will contribute some sour grapes to top your bloated, obscene grain allotment at the Times.



• Judd’s article was entitled: “Cheap seats: Neuheisel can’t count to 11, unless you’re talking millions.”
  
  Comment: But Judd can’t see the forest fore the trees, Mal. Why pick on Neuheisel for not being able to count to 11, when all the coaches, presidents and athletic directors in the Big Ten conference can’t count to 11 either?



• Oregon pummeled hapless Fresno State, 28-24, at Autzen Stadium, after trailing at halftime 17-10 and at the end of the third quarter 24-15.
  
  Comment: Like the city of Oxnard, close to where I live, Fife is just another pretty name. Wanting to shed his commonplace last name, Duck fans are calling quarterback Jason Fife, “Jason Comeback.” They’ll do anything for name recognition, like stalling around for three-quarters of a game. Question, Mal. Will the Ducks put Jason Comeback’s picture on a New York City billboard next season?



• Quarterback Chris Lewis didn’t play for the Cardinal during its 34-27 loss to Boston College. The NCAA suspended Lewis for an undisclosed minor rules violation.
  
  Comment: New head coach Buddy Teevens’ “Fun ‘N Gun” offense wasn’t much fun for backup quarterback Kyle Matter who was sacked and gunned down 7 times for 44 yards on the game.



• As the Huskies ran to the tunnel at halftime, down 10-0 to San Jose State, a smattering of fans booed them. Apparently Husky fans are divided into one of two camps on the subject of booing the home team. (1) You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar; or (2) The squeaky wheel gets attention.
  
  Question: Do Ducks molt into boo birds, leaving a trail of feathers haphazardly strewn, like graffiti splattered on an innocent wall? Just wondering.
  
  Comment: Solution to the dilemma posed by one and two above: If the wheel is squeaking, put some honey on it.

Ciao, Lotti

Editor’s note: Another pearl of wisdom from Lotti—as always.