According to the experts, Washington Husky football coach Tyrone Willingham is sitting on the nation's number one hot seat and is not expected to finish his last year of a five-year contract that expires in December 2009. Presumably, winning six games or more this season will dissipate all the heat surrounding our coach and, possibly, lead to a contract extension. (Photo above of Chris Polk taken by Chris Barnhart.)

Since I've stumbled into the coach on more than one occasion and found I like the guy, a guy that most alums love to hate, I've decided to save his job.

Using Ockham's Razor, I've developed a formula for getting the coach off the hot seat:

Contract extension = 6-pack abs + 2 legends + 5 stars + 1 God particle + 1 STC + BS + ON + UW

Six problems and their solutions led to the formula.

Problem 1: Coaching genius Mike Bellotti, Oregon, has plugged some significant graduation losses with six JC transfers. Tell that to Coach Dick Baird and listen to him fumble for words.

On August 30, at "Let me Autzen here," my guess is that one of the JCs, LaGarrette Blount, along with returnees Andre Crenshaw and Jeremiah Johnson, will hammer away at Washington’s soft gut, weakened by the loss of 5 of its 6-pack abs on the DL. (Editor’s note: UW’s DL had 6-pack abs last season?)

If Bellotti’s plan is successful, he will set in motion a plan for playing the Dawgs -- for the rest of the season.

Solution 1: Hence, incoming freshman Alameda Ta’amu needs to live up to his hype as an incredible hulk, help plug the middle and bring some six-pack abs to the fore, thus foiling Bellotti’s game plan. (Editor’s note: Ta’amu has six-pack abs?). See realdawg.com for photo, which can be found under "Picture Day 2008."

(Also, see Jonathan George's "The 'Poly Three'", at realdawg.com. George's article will send shivers up and down your spine and bring tears to your eyes, Husky fans, for it's been a long, long time.)

Problem 2: The oldsters tell me that QB Jake Locker is Don Heinrich and Hugh McElhenny morphed into one. Currently, a strained hamstring is keeping him out of practice.

Solution 2: Jake's hammy needs to heal pronto and, once more as in last season, bring the “Arm” and the “King” back to the Dawgs. (Editor’s note: who in the heck were Heinrich and McElhenny?).

Problem 3: The Huskies have a nice set of young wide receivers, but lack a tall guy who can confound a lockdown defense and give Jake a tall target to throw to (for mental and physical reasons).

Solution 3: Incoming freshman TE Kavario Middleton (6-foot-6, 240) needs to prove that not only is he a five-star recruit but a five-star stud on the playing field – now!

Problem 4: Brandon Johnson, who is recovering from surgery and an injury, returns UW’s only experienced tailback.

Solution 4: TB Chris Polk needs to prove that he can be as elusive as a Higgs boson -- as hypothesized by UW particle physicists -- accelerate to the speed of light and become Willingham’s God particle.

Having a God particle in the backfield will energize Juan Garcia’s healing, along with our prayers for his full recovery.

Problem 5: Special teams will be needed in the winnable games against BYU, SU, UA, OSU, ND, UCLA, and WSU, as played in that order.

Solution 5: Special teams coach Brian White, Coach Willingham needs you.

Problem 6: If you look at the team acronyms for the winnable games (BYU, SU, UA, OSU, ND, UCLA and WSU), toss out UA and take the first letter of each remaining acronym, you have a formula the schedule makers had in mind for the Huskies. Was tossing UA out prophetic?

Solution 6: BS ON UW

Wow, talk about simplicity, Ockham's razor and a crappy schedule.