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This is Officer Lee Groinman. That’s Right, still Seattle’s Most Disgusted Cop.
“Lookin’ a little green around the gills there Lee! Rough night?” Naw, were fine, good to see ya!’ Now we all can’t fit up here in the cab, so get your carcass in back and lets go!! Paulie and Timmy (Jr.) hop into the back of my pick-up and we head out of the QFC lot. Now for the enjoyment of all around, the both of them break out in some Nevada fight song, had about 8 verses as I recall, most having to do with something about sheep and wolves. They had a line or two about Dawgs in there, but I think they just kinda’ made those ones up as they went along… Now sit down back there! I tell them! Am I gonna’ have to come back there and separate you two! Well it was one of those rare days in Seattle when it looked a bit wet for a Husky game. We still had this awesome tailgate. BBQ burgers with homegrown tomatoes and Walla Walla’s, and Desk Sarge Deano brought these, well anyway. Ya’ know Paulie, I says, the crowd here today probably won’t be all that large. Why don’t the two of you just slide in with us, and you can at least sit undercover. Just broke one of my own pet peeves, bringin’ the enemy into your own camp! “That’d just be a great idea Lee! Say listen up Lee, I know it’s a 17 point spread here today, but ya’ know Groinman, we didn’t come all the way up to Seattle just to save a few bucks. I know you Seattle folk are all big into the betting game, so what do ya’ say Lee, wanna’ go 50 bucks on the game here today? Well lookit here Lee, I’ve only got a few hundred’s left, ah what’s another 50 bucks… But Let me tell ya’ this, you doesn’t have to give me 17 points, but I do believe it only fair that the visiting team get a 7 point cushion.” I really like the way you’re thinkin’ there Paulie… With the formalities all taken care of, we headed into the Stadium. The line into the gate was long as usual, “What are they doing up there Lee, givin’ strip searches? Ya’ know Groinman, we didn’t come all the way up to Seattle just to get strip-searched. We can get all of that we need back home.” Well we kept our clothes on and found our way to our section, and yup, as luck would have it, we had two seats right behind us for Timmy and Paulie. It didn’t take until Lou Gellerman’s “Hello Dawgfans!!” For everyone within 20 seats to know that we had Wolf Pack fans here in our midst. “Ya’ know Groinman, we didn’t come all the way up to Seattle just to embarrass ourselves…” Can we sing that 4th verse again?? So the game started off fine for our Dawgs, a business-like 80-yard drive to the 10, where of course, Pickett was intercepted by Derek Kennard. 90 yard-drive the other way. Wolf Pack 7. Dawgs 0. Then another turnover, another Pack TD, and Paulie is getting all lathered up. “Ya’ know Lee, this has got to be one of the greatest Wolf Pack games I’ve ever SEEN! How about you Groinman, ain’t this something! Ya’ know what it is Lee, The Wolf Pack coach, that Curt Tourney, used to coach here at Washington, did ya’ know that Lee? Yup, that Tourney probably still has the playbook…” “Nope, I’d never want to play against a former coach, That Tourney is a crafty fellow, there Lee.” So our Dawgs are trying to get on the board with a field goal. “I’ll bet he misses this one Lee, 10 bucks, whadya’ say?” You’re on! Knudson’s money! Thud! Blocked by Handy.” Now wasn’t that just dandy Lee? You got a Hamilton on ya’ don’t cha’ Lee?” The Dawgs are going to get on the board this time for sure as Knudson lines up for a 38-yard field-goal. “Another 10-spot Lee? He can’t miss from this angle! You betcha’ there Paulie, give me back that Hamilton. Thud! This time by Barry. “Unreal, Lee! It’s that Tourney, he must know all the blockin’ assignments! Nope, I tell ya’, I’d never want to play against a former coach, how ‘bout you Groinman? Got another 10-spot? Well the half ended with a workman-like 15-play drive capped by a 2 yard run by Rich Alexis, the Dawgs trailed by only 7. 14-7. In the 3rd quarter the Dawgs were trying to put another 3 on the board to cut the lead to four. Knudson was about to line up for a straight on 42-yarder. “Ya’ know Lee, we didn’t come all the way up to Seattle just to take all of your money. I’ll bet this kick is blocked too, the odds makers wouldn’t even touch this bet, double or nuthin’ Lee. You can’t lose!” Snap, thud… Must be that “Curt Tourney….” This game mercifully came to an end shortly before my bank account. But hey, I’ve got some good news! Look at how much money I saved! With this loss, a trip to El Paso was avoided on Christmas Day! That GEICO lizard can just go boogie in the canal! It was time to head for the 5th quarter there at Dempsey. I wondered what would be on the menu. Probably cold Lutefisk… All was not lost, I still had a big ol’ dog to go home and feed. Life was good! So now nearly a year has gone by, and Fresno State is at our doorstep. I don’t know about you, but if you’re anything like me, and I know I am, you’re lookin’ for vast improvement on this year’s team. Well now, just let me tell ya’ this… There will be NO more Nevada’s, NO more Cal’s! NO more ARIZONA’S!! No sir, not this YEAR!! DO YOU HEAR ME!! THIS IS OUR HOUSE!! Time to KICK it up a notch!! BAMM! As for Fresno State? Take the points…DAWGS ROLL!!
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